By Pamela Davis

I was asked to offer some hot summer cooking tips, and I’m delighted to oblige! Everyone knows that summer cooking is just plain fun, but did you also know it’s inexpensive? Unless, of course, you set fire to the entire lawn when you drop a piece of charcoal on it and have to reseed. Then it’s costly, but the whole reseeding debacle should only happen once, tops, twice a season.

Let’s get cooking! Summer cooking is all about the grill, so make sure yours is in tip-top shape. If you have a gas grill, and you see flames leaping out of the control knobs, it’s time to consider a new grill. If you have a charcoal grill, well, there’s almost never a need to replace one of those, unless the thing has burned to the ground in one of those freak lawn-catching-fire incidents.

All you have to do is browse the web to find simple yet delicious grilling recipes for even the least inspired of cooks. You can grill anything and make it taste great! Just try it. Grill a hot dog. Grill some chicken. Grill a Frosted Flake. Fantastic, huh?

One caveat: The only thing which doesn’t grill well is yogurt. Drips right through the grate. But anyway, let’s talk tonight’s meal. We’ll go with chicken our first time out because that’s always a crowd pleaser. Unless your crowd happens to be a pack of vegetarians, in which case, you toss enough sauce on that grilled chicken breast and you can tell everyone it’s seitan.

For four people you’ll need 12 to 15 pounds of chicken. That may sound like a lot, but there are a few things to remember about grilling. First, anything grilled shrinks to exactly one-fiftieth of its original size. Two, many, actually most, of the now shrunken pieces of chicken will have fallen into the fire, necessitating your having extra on hand. In addition to the chicken, we’ll be grilling peas, lettuce, and for dessert, grilled ice cream. It’s similar to fried ice cream except it has grill lines. Also, most of the ice cream drips through the grill making it a delicious and yet very low calorie dessert.

Preparing the chicken: Some people like to marinate their chicken, believing this to create a moister dish. I disagree. Marinating is for the faint of heart. A real griller knows that it’s the grilling technique that creates the flavor, not a namby-pamby marinade. As I cook with a charcoal grill and not with gas, I’ll teach accordingly. I take an entire bag of Match Light and throw it on the grill. Then I ignite it and watch the flames leap up right next to the house, occasionally just missing. I keep a fire extinguisher handy for those moments when the wind picks up and things get too exciting.

Conventional wisdom dictates that one wait until the coals are merely glowing before placing the food items on the grill. Pish posh to that! Throw those pieces of chicken on when the flames are leaping to their highest points. After all, shouldn’t cooking be an adventure?

Now for the peas. While the chicken is engulfed in flames, take two or three skewers and carefully thread the peas onto them. This may take some time, but grilling should be done in a leisurely fashion. So sit back in a lawn chair, kick off your shoes, and thread, taking time to enjoy the chicken show and place bets on which piece will disintegrate first. When the chicken seems to have taken on a lovely blackened glow, push it to the sides of the grill, assuming you dare to stick your arms into the inferno, and make room for the skewers and the lettuce.

I simply toss a hunk of iceberg onto the grill, turn it several times, and then put it on a plate and mask it with gobs of Blue Cheese dressing. Delicious!

For the ice cream. This can be tricky, so pay attention. Go into the freezer and pull out the ice cream that’s been there the longest and is the hardest to scoop. Scoop out four balls, and then roll in flour, followed by Rice Krispies. Run to the grill and toss those babies on before they even have time to think about melting. Enjoy the snap, crackle, pop. Once everything’s snapped, crackled, and popped, the ice cream will melt.

So grab them from the grill with a fireproof mitt and hold them in your hands while people throw themselves on the ground under you swallowing the drippings. Delicious and aerobic!

Bon appetite! And join us next time when we talk “Grilling Items Found Along the Road — Animal and Vegetable.”

Want more of Pam? You can now visit her at thatspam.com.